Monday, December 26, 2005
{ 6:45 AM }
ok..i'm feeling really guilty now. really. and soon my confused mind came up with an answer. an answer to soothe my agonied spirit. it's final and i'll not change that fact. no. not until now. because i know..i've cause one person's pain. i mean..although that person did tell me, i know. i know the consequences of my actions. and i can feel it. from what people do or think, i understand. it's all my fault and it's really my fault. i brought this upon you, and i can not forgive myself. argh. i guess my decision might have help me and my consience.
i thought whatever i typed was here, but oh well..it's not. let me start from last wed. yeps..went out with hui sahn, minyu, bi ran and joy. met minyu early in the morning to watch chicken little. the show was quite hilarious with a touch of warmth. nice one. then oit ended about 12, so we met hui shan at the bus interchange and took no. 31 to pp. met bi ran and joy there. at first we wanted to watch movie, but due to time constrain, we have decided to give up that thought and shopped instead.
yesterday was x'mas day. so fast..i thought i just celebrated x'mas last year? time really does fly. and i know. went church with dad on x'mas eve. the midnight service. and there's caroling. wow..when you sit at the front row on the second level, you can see the pianist and the conductor. they's like so cool. it's a honour to be able to play during a mass..and i want to render my service to the church when i finish my piano grades. and when you look at how they play,it is really awesome! and the conductor also..i want to learn how to be a conductor..if i finish all my courses..then on x'mas we went to mom's friend's church to celebrate. that's a christian church and they are all so merry. the service is very joyous with performance and loads of x'mas carol. and i dont understand this line- christ is come. why isnt it has? but is? i dont understand. and we got a test of bread and wine. the communion. normally i dont get to drink the wine during communion, but this time, it's a different church and there's wine. my first time drinking wine. hahaas..it's a bit strong..the taste. then there was this talk..about the difference between worship and admire. yes..and now i understand the difference.after the service we went to my mom's friend's house for x'mas lunch. i seriously dont like the lunching part. because i will be so bored..every year also the same. no changes are made or done. haiz..but the agony soon ended when i beggedmy dad to go home. we didnt even eat the fruits(: hahaas. later when i came home, i asked my mom to bring me for lunch again, because i only ate two pieces of breadover there. i wanted to eat ramen. so we went pp lor.. i like x'mas..i like new year..they mark the end of a year, and the beginning of another. this year, 2006 will be coming 1 sec later..because due to the slowing down of rotation of the earth, 2005 will last 1 sec longer. hahaas. i'll take note of this 1 sec(: on this x'mas night, i have made a promise to myself. i promise myself that i'll work hard. i really wish this wish would be fufilled. i willwork for it de!